Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize