yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize