my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize