Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
