Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
