eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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