Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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