My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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