Whats the glycemic index on semen?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
