don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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