Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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