Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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