Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
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...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
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thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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