y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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