why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
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I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
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