Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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