NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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