it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i think my cat just said my name.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
