so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
