pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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