I hate your face
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
