I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
