i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
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