Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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