i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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