yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
