On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
