I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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