I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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