She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
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I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
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I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.