your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
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Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.