coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
