i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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