you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
