pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
