Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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