After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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