dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
