She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
