She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
