I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
