I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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