Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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