yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize