okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
