not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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