i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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