the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
