oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
