but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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