He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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