"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
ok first of all what the fuck
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
