Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
being pregnant is like rehab
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We need to get me chipped asap
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
