he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The feeling are messing with the penis
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
