You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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