True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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