yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
