Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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