My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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