Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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