Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
