He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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